hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
