I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
