It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
