she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
