Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
