At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
