lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
