I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
