I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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