Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
