Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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