you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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