Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
