how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
