Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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