ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
