So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
