Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
