sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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