Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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