do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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