Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
