Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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