So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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