playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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