It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
jump out the window naked night went bad
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