The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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