I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
