ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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