You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
