let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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