some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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