On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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