I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
