dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
