You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
try to milk me bitch
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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