Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
