you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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