I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
