wrigley field is MILF paradise
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
