Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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