Got a toothbrush?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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