She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
