PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize