Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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