If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
