I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize