I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize