But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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