Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
