is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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