Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
