I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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