My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
