so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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