weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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