nut hugger
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize