so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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